Several Advils Later...

Never mind about my New Year’s resolution to drink more. I am NEVER. DRINKING. AGAIN. It was my friend P’s birthday on Saturday and it was awesome!…But let’s just say I didn’t even think about getting out of bed until 5pm the next day. I’m going to chronicle my drunk behavior because this was the first and last time I will ever be that wasted again. I swear.

Several glasses of champagne, some beer, a couple of vodka tonics, a shot of rum, more champagne and one huge glass of extremely strong rum and coke later (thanks L.), I was supposedly “really funny,” yet “not making a complete spectacle of myself,” and “a happy drunk,” as told to me by those who later helped me to bed.

I remember the part where we’re at a club and J. sends two guys my way and later being berated for being “too picky.” I remember the part where S. and I are halfway out of the limo’s sunroof while driving over the Golden Gate Bridge and some strange woman in the middle of the road saying, “Give me a kiss.” We did not give her a kiss. I remember the part where I said, “I’m not drunk. I’m totally coherent. Ask me anything…anything,” followed by me saying, “I can tell you what 5 times 8 is. It’s 56.”

I DON’T remember the part where I said, “Best Party EVER of 2006! WooHoo!” and then making everybody toast. I don’t remember the part where I said, “We just HAVE to get a picture with our limo driver Travis!” But I do have a picture to document the occurrence. I don’t remember the part where I was looking for my jacket and when M. handed me my jacket I was apparently looking for my nametag, as if I ever use nametags. I then said, “This is not my jacket but it looks like a jacket I would have so I’ll pretend it’s my jacket so the night will go a lot smoother.”

I certainly do NOT remember trying to crawl into bed with my roommate who was sleeping on the full-sized bed in the middle of our living room (don’t ask why we have a full-sized bed in the middle of our living room…but it’s really bouncy and great for jumping up and down on).

Uh-oh. I just received this e-mail, sent to my roommates and me from our downstairs neighbor:

“I wanted to send you a quick note about this Sunday morning. Not sure if you were there or part of it, but a party returned to your apartment, and people were literally yelling for 45 minutes and stomping up and down (literally jumping). I would not mention it except that it was really out of control for 3:30 am in the morning and it very likely woke everyone up within a half-block radius, and I have not been getting a lot sleep as it is…being woken up at 3:30 am and listening to that for close to an hour was not very fun.

Sorry about the negative content above, and I would like to catch up with you for dinner sometime soon, perhaps in February (my travel schedule is now crazier than ever). Let me know your schedule and we can plan something.”

We are truly sorry and we are taking him out to dinner. He is also invited to any and all future parties.

“That was the best fucking party EVER of 2006!” I supposedly yelled again, (this time interjecting the f-word for emphasis) during that 45 minutes Downstairs Neighbor just mentioned.

That’s it kids, the one and only time you have seen or will see Aubrey thoroughly intoxicated. Happy Birthday P. Cheers!

P.S. These are some of the "safe" photos from that evening. Don't ask for anything more.