What You Should Be Doing...

You people who keep telling me to write new entries need to leave me alone. Here’s what you should be doing instead of checking this blog time and again only to be disappointed that I haven't posted anything new for a decade:

J.- You need to bury your goddamn nose into your goddamn law books. You want to pass the Bar? Well you won’t learn shit here, so look elsewhere!…that’s what you need to do.

M.- Go fry me up some of your daddy’s eggrolls, biatch! While you’re at it, scrub the tub, wash the dirty dishes and take out the trash, lazy girl…that’s what you need to do.

I.- Burn me more mp3’s. Your music collection puts Amoeba Records to shame and your ipod can’t handle any more freakin’ uploads. Share your tunes with someone who’s too cheap to buy her own music…that’s what you need to do.

JB.- Get healthy already! How long can someone stay sick? I’m not sure but I’m pretty sure you’re setting a new record. Since you’re vegan I won’t tell you to eat chicken soup, but I will tell you to eat some faux chicken-shaped soy with faux chicken-tasting broth because it’s MmmMmm good!…that’s what you need to do.

L.- Bitch slap your boss, ask for a mega-bonus for all the unpaid overtime you put in and then invite me to your office so I can check out the young, professional hotties…and while I’m there, I may as well bitch slap your boss too, uh-huh…that’s what you need to do.


To everyone else…Get a Life!


P.S. I’m much nicer in person than on this blog. I swear.