My mother gives the best Christmas presents EVER!
My sister Autumn receives a battery-operated Dawn Power Dish Brush that has an extremely close resemblance to a certain bedroom toy. It turns on and vibrates and emits liquid soap with the push of a button. My mom laughs and says, "I was very excited when I bought that!"
My mom's husband is forewarned before opening his gift that every man up North owns one and now he has his very own. It's a bird feeder in the shape of a gigantic pink rose with a little green leaf sticking out that birds can perch upon. Ralph says, "Now what in the hell I'm I going to do with this?"
My three sisters and I all receive matching faux fur zippable vests. They're not as bulky as the matching fur coats she got us last year, so that's a good thing. It's less poundage when dragging them back to the mall to get store credit. Autumn and I tell her we live in Portland and San Francisco and that we'll be shot and hung if seen wearing them, but she never fails to condemn us with death sentences.
Hope you all get gifts as good as mine.
Merry Christmas from Florida. (I'm wearing a mini skirt right now and will be at the beach tomorrow...ha ha suckas.)
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